First Kill
by RedHeartConverse0526
Summary: A take on Annabeth's feelings when she kills a demigod during the Titan War. The story is based on the song 'Man Down' by Rihanna. For the know-it-alls out there, this is MADE UP so no comments about that. Rated T for song topic.


**My first story so please don't give me a load of crap: A take on Annabeth's first demigod kill during the Titan War. I have included a new character; Ray. He is one of the older Athena cabin members. Joined Kronos. He and Annabeth have had history.**

**Just my own thoughts and opinions. Based on Rihanna's song "Man Down".**

**Critique is welcomed and will be provided with hot chocolate! Flames will be quenched. Somehow. ;)**

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_I didn't mean to end his life  
I know it wasn't right  
I can't even sleep at night  
Can't get it off my mind  
I need to get out of sight  
Before I end up behind bars_

****It was an accident. Really. I didn't mean to kill my own brother, traitor or not. But that twisted little voice that loves making people feel bad whispered, "_You've just stooped down to Luke's level. This is rich, you are a little hypocrite aren't you, daughter of Athena, immoral killer."_

_What started out as a simple altercation  
Turned into a real sticky situation  
Me just thinking on the time that I'm facing  
Makes me wanna cry_

__We were in Central Station. Just me and my former friend Ray. My brother. One of my idols. His grey eyes had a crazed look and his light brown hair was matted with blood and sweat. "Coward!" I spat and soon we were yelling at each other.

"Enough!" he said and he advanced slowly with his knife gleaming wickedly. Like a cat approaching a mouse. I looked on in fear. He couldn't. He wouldn't. I saw a gun.

"Annabeth, stop!" Percy screamed.

_Cause I didn't mean to hurt him  
Could've been somebody's son  
And I took his heart when  
I pulled out that gun_

__It wasn't supposed to be this way. I was supposed to get him to come back to us so we could be happy again. What was I going to say to Mom? She would be disappointed when she found out that I was so rash.

_Rum pum pum rum pum pum pum rum pum pum pum_  
_Man Down_  
_Rum bum bum bum rum bum bum bum rum bum bum bum_  
_Man Down_

__Blood started leaking out from his side forming a crimson puddle around him. My eyes welled up. _  
_No! I can't submit to guilt. Annabeth Chase will not cry over a traitor.

_Oh mama mama mama_  
_I just shot a man down_  
_In central station_  
_In front of a big ol' crowd_  
_Oh Why Oh Why_  
_Oh mama mama mama_  
_I just shot a man down_  
_In central station_

__Athena, please get rid of this guilt! Stop it. Please. I just shot my own brother. At the station where we used to meet up. Guilt and pain was eating me up, it was too overwhelming. Percy gaped at me. Everybody was shocked.

_It's a 22_  
_I Call her Peggy Sue_  
_When she fits right down in my shoes_  
_What do you expect me to do_  
_If you're playing me for a fool_  
_I will lose my cool_  
_And reach for my fire arm_

Anger finally made an appearance. "_He_ is the enemy, I did my job" I snarled. Ray took me for a fool, thinking I was too soft but he has forgotten who I can be.

_I didn't mean to lay him down_  
_But it's too late to turn back now_  
_Don't know what I was thinking_  
_Now he's no longer living_  
_So I'm bout to leave town_

__And then remorse overpowered my fury. I really didn't mean to. I felt like a little girl again, unsure and doubtful. I was disgusting, I decided. He would be alive if I was wise like I was expected to be. Some daughter of Athena. I acted on impulse and not on logic. I was meant to think things over. I shouldn't be the one looking back and regretting. I was, in everyone's eyes to be sure of what I was doing _before_ I acted.

_Cause I didn't mean to hurt him_  
_Could've been somebody's son_  
_And I took his heart when_  
_I pulled out that gun_

__I honestly didn't intend for him to be killed, least of all by me. Imagine how Mother must feel. Siblings against siblings. We were inseparable. The Athena Cabin all together and I just took him out like I would blow out a candle.

_Rum bum bum bum rum bum bum bum rum bum bum bum_  
_Man Down_  
_Rum bum bum bum rum bum bum bum rum bum bum bum_  
_Man Down_

__Bum. Bum. Bum. Bum. The sound of my footsteps as I ran. Away from the shame. Away from _him. _My first kill.

_Oh mama mama mama_  
_I just shot a man down_  
_In central station_  
_In front of a big ol' crowd_  
_Oh Why Oh Why_  
_Oh mama mama mama_  
_I just shot a man down_  
_In central station_

__Oh Athena. Please get rid of this insecurity. I just killed a demigod! One of my kin in front of everyone. Why me? Why did I feel this way? It's all too much...

_Look I never thought I'd do it_  
_Never thought I'd do it_  
_Never thought I'd do it_  
_Oh gosh_  
_What ever happened to me_  
_Ever happened to me_  
_Ever happened to me_  
_Why did I pull the trigger_  
_Pull the trigger pull the trigger BOOM_  
_And end a demigod end a demigod's life so soon_  
_When mi pull the trigger pull the trigger pull it pon you_  
_Somebody tell me what I'm gonna what I'm gonna do_

I was so sure of myself and my character. But the old me wouldn't have done that. What has happened to me? Has time and suffering robbed me of my empathy? I don't know anymore. Where is my purity, my innocence?

It happened too soon. Why did I pull the trigger and end a demigod's life all too soon? Why didn't I think it through? _Why?_

_Rum bum bum bum rum bum bum bum rum bum bum bum  
Mi say wah man down (A weh mi say)  
Rum bum bum bum rum bum bum bumm rum bum bum bum  
When mi went downtown_

I blocked all sounds from my ears. I was just running. Running away from the fear. This was only the beginning of the war and violence. I was required to do more. I was required to take more lives.

_Cause now I am a criminal criminal criminal_  
_Oh lord a mercy now I am a criminal_  
_Man Down_  
_Tell the judge please gimme minimal_  
_Run out a town none a dem cah see mi now_

Now I'm in for it. May the gods have mercy. Please, Mother, please don't judge me too harsh. No one can see me now. I am alone. Now the sobs break out from my throat.

_Oh mama mama mama_  
_I just shot a man down_  
_In central station_  
_In front of a big ol' crowd_  
_Oh Why Oh Why_  
_Oh mama mama mama_  
_I just shot a man down_  
_In central station_

I just killed Ray. I just killed a demigod. This is what it feels like. Monsters, compared to this, are like swatting flies. It is nothing. Compared to killing a person. I felt grim. Fifteen and I have already been corrupted. Years from now, I will never forget my first kill. No matter how much I long to.

* * *

**There it is. It is a one-shot. Please tell me what you think, I'm still playing around with genres.**


End file.
